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Dear
Uncle Ralph,
My Dad has a new girlfriend. He seems really
happy and is even talking about getting married again. The problem is that
this woman is one of the ugliest people that I’ve ever seen. I mean not
just trailer trash ugly but this woman you couldn’t even drink pretty. I’m
24 and live in my own trailer now so I don’t have to live with her. Is
there anything you can advice me to do so my Dad don’t screw up and marry
this woman?
Gene
Dear Gene,
She sounds pretty ugly if you can’t even drink her pretty.
I’ve never seen an ugly women that a few Buckhorns couldn’t beautify.
But let me ask you a serious question. Is your Dad ugly
too? You see, my theory is that ugly people date and marry other ugly
people and then have ugly kids. So if your Daddy is attracted to an ugly
woman and you are your Daddy’s kid, take a good look in the mirror, you may
be pretty ugly yourself.
My advice to you is to leave the choices of who your Dad
dates up to your Dad. Don’t interfere. If he’s happy, let him stay happy.
Perhaps she is meeting some manly need that your Daddy has, such as someone
to cook, clean and fetch Buckhorn.
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