An Uncle Ralph Interview

Editors Note: This interview was originally published in the June 2003 issue of Old World Magazine. Reprinted with permission.

One of the more interesting humor sites to be found on the web is www.AskUncleRalph.com. This site features Uncle Ralph, who bills himself as the “Dear Abby” of trailer trash. Obviously a satirical site, it promises to keep you amused. We contacted Uncle Ralph to discuss the site and interviewed him on May 3^rd of 2003.

OWM – Ask Uncle Ralph is a pretty unique website. Why did you put it together in the first place?

UR – My nephews began screwing around with web sites and needed subject matter. They came over and asked me to do it. They’d do all the work, I just had to answer the letters.

UR – Yes. I’m sure that these people really don’t have the problems they describe – its’ mostly satire based on a stereotype, but the people sending them in are real. On occasion I get some real letters from people really seeking help. A lot of kids. I usually keep them off the site and answer them more directly.

OWM - Kids? How can you tell and what kind of problems are they writing about?

UR - Generally I can tell by the questions they ask. About school and relationships with parents and stuff. It seems like a lot of kids are hurting and don’t know where to look for help. So they end up finding me.

UR- What would seem insignificant to you and I can sometimes seem really painful to a kid – teenagers. To them a broken heart is really serious. When I get a kid writing to tell me they can’t go on without so and so and I find out the kid is just 14, it seems pretty stupid. “What? Did you think you were going to get married this week?” Sometimes you just point them in the right direction. I try to do it gently. Some kids really do hurt and this may be the only time I get to influence them.

UR- Generally from life experience. I work with a lot of the expected stereotypes. That’s really what keeps the site alive.

UR- Yes. You know, rotten teeth, live in trailers, date your sister type of things.

OWM – It seems to me that the stereotype you portray for trailer trash could also be said for the Redneck stereotype. What’s the difference?

UR – There really ain’t much difference. I used to say that anyone could be trailer trash and I think that is generally true, but to distinguish us from Rednecks, I’m starting to say you HAVE to live in a trailer. That’s a change. But it seems to work.

UR – Wherever I go in life I’m still three steps behind. That’s the beauty of living in a trailer. You can keep it rolling until you catch up.

UR – If I were to have a television show in the works, at this point it would be too early to discuss. So, no comment. But let’s just say that I’ve been contacted, and leave it at that.

OWM – You discuss Buckhorn Beer quite a bit on the site. That beer has been discontinued and is no longer made. Why do you talk about that so much?

UR – When I first started discussing beer I needed a prop. I wanted the cheapest beer I could find. Back in the early 80’s there was actually a Buckhorn Beer. The cheapest beer ever made, I think. You could buy a case for about 2 bucks. Since I started referring to it, a lot of the people that write in also mention it. I like to keep it going. I was surprised when my nephews told me how many people found me by searching for Buckhorn Beer on the Internet. You would think that no one would remember it, but people are still searching for it.

UR – That would be the good stuff. (grins)

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OWM – One of the stories you posted in the “Life in This Grand Trailer Park” section is a short story titled: Missing Grandma. Is that a true story.

UR – Of course. All those stories are true. I was 9 at the time they blew up the lake. No one really knew what it was. When it blew, it took out most of the windows around the lake. Some people thought it was a meteorite that hit the lake. Two years ago, my brother and a buddy went looking for the truck. It took just two days and they found it in 60 feet of water. It’s just a bit of confirmation of what we remember happening. It was hushed up for a long time in the family but now both Buster and Grandma are long gone.

OWM – Did anyone ever figure out what it was?

UR- Not that I know of. It was a long time ago and most people have forgotten about it. My mother was a bit upset with me for bringing it up on the website – she still wanted to keep it secret - but I pointed out how funny it was. She actually started laughing about it then, I think for the first time.

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OWM – Tell me about your wife.

UR- You mean my lovely, talented and smart wife?

OWM – Yes.

UR- Not much to tell. I married the beauty queen from Bangor Michigan. That was 22 years ago. We were both pretty young, but that’s what you did back in those days in a small town. It really has been great and I wouldn’t change a thing.

OWM – What year was that?

UR – She was Miss Bangor of 1980. We got married in 1981.

OWM – No kids of your own?

UR – No, no kids. We’ve got enough nephews and nieces to hold us.

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OWM – So what’s next for Uncle Ralph?

UR – Oh, a few things are happening. The site will continue to grow. I hope to actually get a book out within the year and some other things.

OWM – Other things?

UR- Yep, and no comment.

OWM – With the crash of the Internet boom, is Ask Uncle Ralph making any money.

UR – Not so far. It cost me and my nephews to produce it. It's a pure entertainment site. I'm entertaining myself. It’s just too much fun not to do it. I get to communicate with a lot of people and it’s fun when people write me and tell me someone gave them one of my free business cards. This type of site doesn’t charge. The only way a site like this can make money is if people click on one of the ads and then buy something. We don’t get paid just to show the ad. (He waves his hand and indicates he wants me to write this down) So if your readers want to help me keep my website up, they should go to Ask Uncle Ralph first and then click – like the Amazon ad. If you buy from Amazon, you can help the site by clicking that ad on my site first.

OWM – Is that a plug?

UR – Yes. But it’s true.

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Uncle Ralph Can be seen at www.AskUncleRalph.com

Missing Grandma can be seen here: http://www.askuncleralph.com/Life/missing_grandma.htm