1. "BUBBA'S JUICE BAR", not the hit they expected in Harlan Co. Ky.

 

2. "BRUTH'S INTERIOR DECORATING", "oh my, can you see how the pink curtains vibrate against the back drop of the spittoon and kitty litter box?

 

3. "ROBERTS HOUSE OF PUBIC TOUPEE`S" mostly used for hairy chest, why waste them when you can't see past the beer belly?

 

4. "SHELDON'S ALL BOY BALLET SCHOOL", Sheldon insisting on wearing a tutu, and dance the female lead discouraged most of the backee farmers. (backee=tobacco, for those out of the loop).

 

5."ROCCO'S HOME OF THE 20 MINUTE PEDICURE", Great pricing, discount for 8 or more toes, limit 13 for only $9.95 per food.

 

6."ANDRE`S HAIRSTYLING AND BUSH HOGGING" Get your weeds wacked, and your dreadlocks trimmed with one appointment.

 

7."LAVANDER LARRY'S HOUSE OF DRAPES", Not only can they fit you for the annual KK Klan toga party, but they can dress up that house trailer to make ya feel plum comfortable, before the twister or divorce takes it.

 

8."JOHNNY KNUCKLES BRIDAL SALON", This week featuring post honeymoon detailing of the pick up, including cleaning chewin' tabakee from both sides of the floor.

 

9."POSSUM PETER'S" Always in season grits and pone, and collards upon request. Their grits are humanely treated.

 

10."RANDY'S SCHOOL OF CULINARY DEELIGHT" This week learn the secret of tender Chicken Fricassee. Randy will teach you how to spot the juiciest of juicy chickens and the best methods to steal them.

 

I hope you enjoyed this, it was written by me at 1:30am Saturday 9-16-01.  I hope y'all have a comment, either favorable or constructive, if negative, I will personally come and steal the blocks from under the '74 Chevelle you have parked on the side of the driveway. 

Poncho Jim

 

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