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Back in the 70's,
when you took your clothes off and ran somewhere it was called "Streaking".
Back in that
time, most people were in too much shock to do anything about the disruption it
had.
It's different today, if you decide to strip naked
and run through a public building, if people happen to stop laughing long enough
at some "minor" part of your anatomy, your just as likely to be chased down put
in jail for sport.
Take poor Billy Bob. Just had his 50th
birthday. Feeling a bit on the short side of his life he decided
relive a fond incident in his life and streak through the St. Mary's.
So donning a face mask and his trusty marathon running shoes he timed his
fateful run at the height of Mass. Much to his surprise, there was no
shock, no outcries of horror at the running masked naked man. No one even
bothered looking. Mass continued without so much as dropping a wafer.
This was disappointing to say the least.
So Billy Bob walks dejectedly back to his mid-life crises
BMW still naked and just sits and ponders for a moment. Perhaps if the
Catholics wire not overly impressed with his manliness, the Pentecostals would
be. So he drove the next three blocks down to the Pentecostal
church.
Inside there was a raucous singing as the members raised
their hands to heaven an sang praises to God. Billy Bob ran his
fastest from the back of the church to the front and still not a shriek of
horror at the middle aged body with a back covered in gray hair. He
was so amazed that no one expressed so much as a gasp that he turned around and
faced the congregation with all his virtues fully displayed. But the
congregation was blind to site as they raised their hands and closed their eyes
in praise song and prayer.
Again, disappointed, he moped back to his care, sat and
pondered. His next stop would have to be the Baptist Church.
If anyone could express outrage, shock and horror it has to be the Baptist.
So he drives the next 3 blocks to the 1st Baptist Church.
He peeks his head around the door of the sanctuary to hear
the preacher giving a rousing sermon about evil running rampant in our society.
The preachers voice would raise and fall with a practiced precision that made
the congregation sit in rapt attention. Choosing his moment, Billy
Bob rushed through the door and only lightly jogged to the front of the church.
The congregation was so focused on the words of the preacher that no one
noticed.
Again completely flummoxed at his inability to even gather
even the smallest amount of outrage, he stood before the pulpit and turned to
face his would-be outraged congregation of church goers. No one
noticed. The preacher continued on with his sermon as the people
referenced their bibles to be sure what the preacher said was correct.
This was the ultimate humiliation. Billy Bob
stood before the church in little more that what God himself gave him and no one
cared. He just stood there. A minute passes and then
two. What could he possibly do to awaken these people to his
nakedness? Then it hit him. Slowly at first he began to
dance. Almost a waltz. Then it built faster and faster until
he could feel his youth returning in the gyrations of the 70's long gone.
Faster and Faster as meaningless motions, giggles and gyrations coursed through
his naked body.
Suddenly people began to take notice. It was
almost an awakening. The preacher stopped preaching and his jaw hung.
Old ladies gasped and turned their heads. Teenage girls broke out in
laughter and the men stood paralyzed in shock. Finally this was what Billy
Bob was looking for, attention. He moment of glory only lasted a
second though. Someone from the congregation yelled out "HE'S DANCING"!
And then the chase was on.
Now Billy Bob had gotten into running many years ago and
was in great shape for his age. He led the people on quite the chase.
Around the pews, over the pews and even under the pews. Everyone tried to
capture him but since he didn't have any clothes no one could get a grip on him.
The chase could have gone on a much longer time.
Billy Bob was having the time of his Mid-life Crisis. But he made a
mistake. He zigged when he should have zagged and was caught.
He had run all over the church and now they had him.
The news paper headline told the rest of the story.
"Naked Man Finally Caught in Church by the Organ"
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