Notes From Space #237

I was getting all the stuff out of my storage unit (too darn expensive!! no extra money for beer) my little trailer doesn't have a lot of room but I put all the boxes I could fit in it. Some of the boxes had to stay outside that night.  When I woke up in the noon of the day--one of the boxes was MISSING!!!  I nearly pooped with anger at who the heck would do this thing to ME!?!   This box had treasures in it--pictures of my kids--all 8 of em. 7 by 4 different husbands (well, 2 I wasn't really married just said we was) and of course there is the standard--"one was by Granpa" (but I keep that one--the strange one--to myself).

I decided to look for MY BOX of things I loved and treasured and paid dearly for (in storage) for most of my lifetime.  First I had to eliminate the women--this box was heavy--even Thelma the weightlifter wooda had a little trouble with this one.  So then I said to myself "what man in his right mind would have taken this from the most fun woman in the trailer park?"  That eliminated 23 guys.   That left 7.   Then I had to figure out how many guys were too sissified to steal from me--that made 6 more down--and left one!!!   aha!!!

It left a KID--a teenager!!   So I plotted my plan of attack.   Would I call the police?   No--they'd say "why did you leave it out side where anyone could take it?"  (dumb question)   So then I hatched my plan.   I called "Billy the kid" over the minute I saw him.   I said--"Billy, come sit her with me a while--  I'm an old lady but we have some talking to do"  

So Billy saunters over and sets.  I had a piece of paper in my hand with free pen I got from the grocery -- best kind is them free ones. and I says "Billy, looky here."  I had drawn a BIG circle and then a tiny little circle.   I said "Billy,  you know this don't you?  The big circle is what your brain used to be.  The little circle is what your brain has become over the years"   he says "YEH, I KNOW."   Then I drew 2 more circles on the bottom of the page--the first one was real tiny and the second one was really really big. I says to Billy "Billy, do you have any idea what these circles mean?"   he says "NO."  So I told him: "The tiny little circle is your asshole before prison!!!   Guess what the really big circle is ?" he didn't guess it right off so I made it plainer:  "YOU bring my box back here in 30 minutes - with all the stuff in it that was in it when you took it - or I call the cops and you are on your way to having the really big circle for an asshole!"  

Billy brought the box back and it was in less then the 30 minutes I gave him.!!   Hot doggy!!!   Now I need to make room in the trailer for the darn box!!!

Heres a beer to you, Uncle Ralph!!!

hugs and kisses,

Tammy-Sue

(space #237)

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