Wit and Wisdom of Uncle Ken

August 22, 2004

Aint writ you fer a while so I guess I’ll get to it. We had a real barn-burner the other day. That John Kerry feller and his pretty wife stopped by the Dusty Trails Trailer Park, said they just cum to visit but we aint stupid we knew they waz cum-in fer somth-in.

Turns out they wanted us to vote fer him.  You-da got a big kick out a this.   You know that old yeller dog a mine.  Well sir, he got out frum under the proch went right up to that feller Kerry and took a leak right there on his leg.  Well sir, that aint the all of it. Little Ralph, sister Mary-Lue’s youngest grand-kid saw that dog a pee-in on that fellers leg and he went at it to.  It waz the funniest thing you ever saw.

Well sir that man waz talking about things we never heard of. He was telling about  Uni-lat-er-ls and pre-empty-ivs and co-a-litions  and stuff we don’t know nothing about.  Well you remember Junior Samples who was on He Ha years ago.   Well his son lives three trailers down and he’s an educated man see'in he went half way through hi-school and all.   Juniors boy has got himself one of those big saddle-lite TV screens.   He watch’s all those news channels, he’s smart as can be you know.  He works down at the fertilizer plant and makes real good money soz he can afford that expensive stuff and all. 

Well you should a had seen it. That Kerry fella  was telling us about when he waz in Viet Nam and all.   That Samples boy was in Viet Nam and he waz a ask-in questions and that Kerry fella waz a trying to change the subject and that Samples boy was a ask-in more questions.   That Kerry fella began to fidiget and the more the Samples boy ask questions the more that Kerry fella was a figit-in.  They waz a figit-in and a question-in back and forth, it was the damndest thing you ever saw.

Well sir, that pretty wife of Kerry’s saw that dog a pee-in on his leg and all and she went back to that big car they waz a driv-in. She began to haller-in something fierce.  Well sir, that Kerry feller said he had to go.  And go he did they waz out a there in no time.

Well sir, we got no idea what that Kerry fella waz a talking about but when George W gets here he can 'splain it.  He’s one of us you know.  He talks Trailer Park don’t you know.

Well sir I got to go.  Barbara Jean has got supper on the table and she don't like it get-in cold.

Uncle Ken

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