Sample Reprint Page (page 2)

An Ask Uncle Ralph Reprint

August 18, 2002

What To Do With Grandpa

 My Dearest Uncle Ralph,

 I think I have an unusual problem, and I’m not sure where to ask for help.  Thank you for being there.

You see, my husband’s Grandfather lives with us.  We have made him very comfortable in our old 8’ by 8 ‘ aluminum tool shed out back.  We even ran an extension cord out there so he wouldn’t have to use oil lamps any more.  We even gave him our old black & white TV. (it only gets channel 3 but he watches it all day)

My problem is that every morning when I’m makin my old man breakfast I see him out there using our trees as his bathroom.  This man is 83 years old and that ain’t what I want to see first thing in the morning.  And when he gets a case of beer I see him all day long.   We told him over and over to come in and use our bathroom but he will only come in for what he calls his “Grand Think”.

My husband says the man is old and to let him enjoy his pee, but I think it’s very disgusting to watch this bent over old man hobble over to the tree and pee.

Is there anything I can do?

Signed,

Can’t Stand to see.

Dear Can’t Stand,

At 83 there ain’t much left that a man can enjoy except to pee.  But I can understand why this bothers you.  So here are my suggestions:

1)  Take an old dryer out back, remove the door, face it away from your window and tell him you bought him a new urinal.

2)  Put a bed sheet up on your windows and then you won’t be able to see.

My Great Grandfather lived in our shed for many months.  Before he died, that was the only thing he got to enjoy.  He would actually spend hours just standing in front of his special tree.   We just didn’t watch. 

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