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Meet My Friend Matt Cason
Update 4-1-08
Matt Replies
Hey, Uncle Ralph, thanks for the mention on your
site!
So you know, and you can share this with your readers, the site with the
most up to date music is my myspace page:
www.myspace.com/themattcasonshow
Of course, I'll try to keep my YouTube page updated as often as possible
too.
Thanks again! Hope all is well.
Matt Cason
See the Trailer Park Boys DVD
Where Can I Get A Fake Beard?
Dear Uncle Ralph,
Where can i get 1 of those beards?
Bert
Dear Bert,
Well, for those of you sissy type boys that can't grow a real
beard, here for a Fake
Beard.
Unless your talking about a
Merkin, then I can't help you.
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a Friend This Advice
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Stuck On Toilet
Dear Uncle Ralph,
If I let my girlfriend sit so long on a toilet
seat that she gets stuck to it, should I go to Jail?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
I think I know what you're referring to:
Stuck on Toilet.
Now I once spent 3 days sitting on a toilet after eating 4
pounds of cheese. But I didn't get stuck. If your the
dude that let his woman sit on a toilet for 2 years, so long that her butt grew
connected to the seat, then yes, you should go to jail.
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a Friend This Advice
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or Comment by Clicking Here
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Confidentially Speaking
Too Hot To Print The Letter
To Stu: I've no idea
what you have to do with it. Do you have any idea what really
happened? I doubt it.
To Tracy: You could try a
few less beans and eggs in your diet. Or Beano - whatever.
To Sully: I agree the
picture you sent was hot. But I doubt you're married to her.
Get a real life, dude.
To Forgetful: Uh, yup.
That's how babies get made.
To Fishy: Not all
chicks are like that. Some even bathe.
To The Bright One: Good
for you. 10th grade should be fun.
Uncle Ralph
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This Weeks Joke
Or Is It?
Fishing On Fridays
A husband and wife came for
counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was,
the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem
they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.
She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,
loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of
unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time,
the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife
to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched
with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though
in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, 'This is what your wife
needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?'
The husband thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off
here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.'
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This picture from
Sherman's
Lagoon
by Jim Toomey
best illustrates the life of
Uncle Ralph
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*Celebrity Voices Impersonated
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