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The "Dear Abby" For Trailer Trash A bit of humor for the way we live. |
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Tell A Friend about this site! Your Trailer Trash Friends Need Help. |
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Dear Readers,
To help pay some recent medical bills, the nephews talked me into selling an autographed caricature of myself. So I agreed and a friend of my Nephew Matt has put it on eBay for me.
This is a framed signed print caricature of me. Check it out on eBay. It would make a perfect gift for your trailer trash girlfriend.
P.S. By the way. This is selling on "Weird eBay". If you happen to find something else there, let me know. I'd love to show everyone else.
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Why Do Farts Smell Worser Than Burps?
Dear Uncle Ralph,
Dear Boseefus,
Why do farts stink worse than burps? That's an easy one. It's simple physiology actually. You see, both farts and burps come from the same place. Beer. Now when you drink beer, (Buckhorn preferably) all those little bubble want to come back up. Some of them escape the short route: back the way it came down. But some of them have to travel a long way to eventually find the back door out. This process can take at least a couple of hours and all that pushing an shoving through, and I'm trying to be delicate here, really, really raw sewage can make a bubble pretty stinky. So when they eventually find their way back out, they can be pretty ripe. The good news however, Buckhorn has found a way to clean them up really good before putting them back in the beer to start all over again. (Come to think of it, that may be why we burp. Once a bubble has been cycled through once, now they know the shortcut.
As for your question as to why chicks can't fart as good as dudes: chicks don't fart. They panty fluff. But having said that, it kinda reminds me of a couple of tents that I have. I discovered that if you put a big tent and a small tent side by side in the wind, the big tent will fluff a lot louder.
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Dear Uncle Ralph,
My Momma says I'm too old to be french kiss'n my Daddy. But my Daddy says I ain't. Who's correct?
Marla June
Dear Marla June,
Well, you didn't tell me how old you are. If'n you 30 then it should be alright. But if'n you be more than 50 I'd say you'd better stop. Dang, girl! Your daddy would have to be at least 63. You trying to give him a heart attack?
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*Celebrity Voices Impersonated |
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