Michigan Cops Taser Stuffed Animal, Help With A Doily, Can You Shoot Slug From Flair Gun?

Now I'm not suggesting that the cop was stupid or anything, (or maybe I am. Even I'm not sure) but having been on the hot end of a taser gun at one drunken time in my life I have to point out that the cops are so quick to taser somebody or something that they don't even wait to see if it's real.

Now translate this to my experience of "Can I help you officer? Uhhhhhhhh!!!!" as I lay helpless on the ground twitching. Oh sure, they had a good laugh and certainly I'd be one to support our officers in blue but what the heck! Since this was a chick cop, you'd might think that I would of had an opportunity to turn on the 'ol Uncle Ralph Charm. But nooooo.

Here's my point. We can't as a free society allow our public servants to go around tasing our helpless, non-offensive stuffed animals. It just ain't right. So write your congressman or congress-chick. Let them know that as an American, you cannot tolerate this violation of the public trust. After all, the next cuddly stuffed animal may be your own daughter's. Then how would you explain that to her?

Can you tell me where I can find instructions, a sample or a book that contains a sample and instructions of a multi-ruffled doily. My grandmother made them years ago. Then she starched them and when they dried they stood up, standing alone beautifully.

I had no idea what a "doily" really was. I thought it might be something a "Proper" woman would keep in her skirt but I couldn't find a "Proper" woman to ask. Duh! I live is a trailer park. But I did find some examples of doilies here.

I'm sure it's some chick thing but I've no idea where or how you'd wear it and I would think starching it would make it very uncomfortable.

Well, I seen it done once. My dear departed friend Willy T. showed me how he could do it once. I was impressed. His widow wasn't. Always showing off, Willy was. Never was a dare he wouldn't take. I can still remember his last words as he slipped away from us to the great beyond: "Hey, Uncle Ralph! Watch this!"

Confidentially Speaking

Too Hot To Print The Letter

To Summer: Very nice. I think you're boyfriend will like it.

To Happy Sir: Ain't no woman gonna loose that much weight. You're gonna need to keep the truck.

To Vintage Drinker: Woman! I bet you have a lot of friends at parties.

To Sloppy Joe: If she wants to spank you then have fun. And no. I don't need to see the pictures.

To Grinner: Nice tooth

Watch Movies Online

Uncle Ralph

Send a Friend This Advice

Ask Your Questions or Comment by Clicking Here

This Weeks Joke

Or Is It?

More Jokes

Notes From The South

Tennessee
The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, 'You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?'

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, 'Everything but my earrings.'

Alabama
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

'Where's Henry?' the others asked.

'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,' the successful hunter replied.

'You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?' they inquired.

'A tough call,' nodded the hunter. 'But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!'

Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.

The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head".

"Yep", he replied. "That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'.

Louisiana
A senior at LSU was overheard saying... 'When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .'

When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, 'Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!'

Bubba replied, 'Did you see who it was?'

The young man answered proudly, 'I couldn't tell, but I got his license number.'

Georgia
A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper asked, 'Got any I.D.?'

The driver replied, 'Bout whut?'

North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, 'I have a flat tire.'

The passerby asked, 'But what's with the flowers?'

The man responded, 'When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make no sense to me neither.'

More Jokes

The New Diet

Free Link Exchange Traffic for Arcade & Humor Sites

Sponsor

Find Anyone

Some of the Top Funny Pages on the Web

How to Turn Down a Date (for Guys)

How to Turn Down a Date (for Chicks)

How to Know If A Man Loves You.