Does Boyfriend Love Me?, Take a Chill Pill, Reuben Brat Recipe

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Take a Chill Pill

Dear Uncle Ralph,

My boyfriend keeps telling me that fixing up the iniside of our house is in his 'five year' plan. Well now after 3 years and five getting closer, he claims it is in his plans to fix up the house after he is finished with the outside of the property. Which I don't see getting done for AT LEAST another five years......What do you think? He makes me feel I am so unimportant as he only does for hisself what he wants and doesn't seem to address anything I care to want..???

Judy

Dear Judy,

Jeeze! Just like a woman to rush a man! He said it was a five year plan. It's only been three. Sit back, drink a Buckhorn and enjoy that fact that a man actually lets you live in a house he's gonna fix up. Better yet, eat some chocolate. I'd bet the reason he's fixing up the outside first is so he don't have to come in and listen to you nag about fixing up the inside. If you man is fixing up anything you're already ahead of the game. What's your rush anyhow? Were you planning on dumping him after he fixed the place up or what?

Chill pill, sister!

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P.S. I'm not gay nor have I ever been a panty fluffer.

Reuben Brat Recipe

Hi Uncle Ralph.

I thought you were looking for recipes at one time but I could not find where to send on your site.. I saw this one and thought you would enjoy...share with your fellow Trailer Trash...

Reuben Brat
Yield: 5 Sandwiches

5 (About 4 ounces) links fresh Bratwurst.
1 large onion, sliced
1 teaspoon butter
1 (14 ounce) can sauerkraut
1/3 - cup Thousand Island dressing
1/3 - cup course-ground mustard
5 dark rye hoagie rolls
5 thin slices Swiss cheese

Grill bratwurst according to package directions. Keep warm

Sauté onion with butter in a pan over medium low heat until light golden brown.
Keep warm.

Warm sauerkraut in saucepan. Blend in Thousand Island dressing with mustard to make
Reuben sauce.

To assemble sandwiches: Place 2 tablespoons of Reuben sauce on each open-faced
hoagie roll. Add cheese and onions, dividing evenly. Top with bratwurst, then with sauerkraut.

Don.. from Taney Co. Mo.

Dear Don,

Sounds great. Gonna fire up the trash can grill this week and try it out.

Bring on the Buckhorn Beer!!!!!!!

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Science Fair Winner

2nd Place

"Women Were Designed For Homemaking"

Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking:

Physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets.
Biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing.
Biology again show that women have smaller feet than men allowing them to stand closer to the sink to do the dishes.
Social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay.
Exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.