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The "Dear Abby" For Trailer Trash A bit of humor for the way we live. |
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Your Trailer Trash Friends Need Help. Tell A Friend about this site! |
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Trailer Trash Dear Uncle Ralph,
I have a friend that lives in a trailer in one of the nicer trailer parks in the area. She gets upset when I call her trailer trash. She says “God didn’t make no trash.” and “I ain’t Trailer Trash”. She says her car is too nice for her to be considered trailer trash. (it’s a new Bonneville)
I told her that if she lives in a trailer she must be trailer trash. What do you think?
Michelle
Dear Michelle,
She’s right. God didn’t make no trash. But that doesn’t mean she ain’t one.
But part of being trailer trash is denial. People in denial tend to get angry when forced to confront the truth. Having a nice car doesn’t mean you ain’t trailer trash. Even if you don’t live in a trailer it still doesn’t mean you ain’t trailer trash.
Hillary Rodham-Clinton is a perfect example. She don’t live in a trailer, she even gets a chauffer. But she is obviously trailer trash. Even though we may not want her as one of us, it doesn’t help to deny the truth of things. She is trailer trash.
Your friend may deny she is trailer trash, but she still is. When people are in denial, it can result in anxiety and depression. So if you are a good friend to her, I suggest that for her own good, you gently remind her on every occasion possible that she is trailer trash. Once she accepts her position in life she will be much happier. If she gets angry with you, just remember that you are doing it for her own good.
Favorite Subject
Dear Uncle Ralph,
My boyfriend and I went to a party this weekend and you were the topic of conversation almost all night. We had lots of Buckhorn and we even went on the Internet and read some of your articles out loud.
I just wanted to say thank you for being you.
Chris Dear Chris,
Thank you! I love being me. I understand how I could come up as a topic of conversation at a party. I love to talk about me. I am my favorite subject.
Did you know that Madonna even did a song about me? It’s true. When she sings “When I think about you I touch myself” who do you think she’s talking about?
So next time you have a party invite me. I love to talk about me.
Dear uncle Ralph
Bettsie Blue
Dear Bettsie,
No I don’t follow the horoscopes. I found that I can more reliable tell the future my lining up the Buckhorn cans I drank from that night, throwing them on the floor and then see if they spell out something.
One time I drank 36 cans, threw them on the floor and it showed me a sign that I was not going to be feeling well the next morning. Dang! Was that ever right on.
I have learned not to trust the beer cans when it comes to women. I once threw 28 cans to the floor and they showed me a sign that I would be making out with Calista Flockhart. So I went down to Detroit to where I knew she was staying for the weekend. To make a long story short, I got beat up by 3 bodyguards. I never trusted the beer cans again when it comes to women.
P.S. My sign is Virgo. My birthday is coming up. It is September 11th. For those of you dieing to get me something, please go to Gags and gifts at www.gagsplus.com/a.php?I=1654 . They have a fart machine there that I rally want. <grin>
Dear Uncle Ralph, My sister wants to give me a lap dance. I’d let her, but she is too [Expletive deleted] ugly. She bugs me every day. What should I do?
Signed Too Sober to let that happen.
Dear Too Sober,
Some guys dream about their sister giving them a lap dance. Can you believe that there are some chicks that won’t give their brothers lap dances? I know, it strange but true.
If your sister is feeling the need to give you a lap dance, I suggest that you let her. If she’s too ugly, get her a paper bag. If she’s too heavy, use a strong chair.
Do it for your sister. She’s family.
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