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The "Dear Abby" For Trailer Trash A bit of humor for the way we live. |
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Your Trailer Trash Friends Need Help. Tell A Friend about this site! |
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June-16, 2002
Dear Uncle Ralph, My cuzin Belinda Sue is getting a divorce. She wants to know if her soon-to-be-EX will still be her brother. This is important to know 'cuz she wants to be able to attend the family reunion to hopefully meet a new man. Wingee.
Dear Wingee, This question comes up a lot. I’ve never really understand it since I’ve never been attracted to my sister. There was just that one time back in the 60’s when… Well that’s nothing that I really need to bring up. But the answer is: She’ll ALWAYS be her brothers’ sister. Let your cousin know, though, that it’s still ok to attend the family reunion. I do, however, always recommend that you try and date outside the family. But if this is not feasible, then remember these guidelines: 1) The first time marry for love. 2) The second time marry for money. That’s the rules I learned during my stay in the city and I think they have some real benefits. I bet your cousin can find some old fart with a really nice trailer just about ready to kick the bucket. And if everyone looked at this problem that way, I bet Grandpa wouldn’t appear quite so boring.
Looking to Live the Good Life Dear Uncle Ralph, I am planning on moving into a trailer pretty soon, but I have a question, I have enough money for the trailer, but I cant afford an old Trans Am or Camaro to park in front of it, I dont have a pit bull, and I still have all my teeth. Will they allow me to buy this later or do I need it now? BillTheThrill
Dear Bill, Congratulations on your choice of life styles! It’s good to have fresh blood in the trailer park community. You’ll have no problem moving into your trailer. Don’t worry about the Camaro or Trans Am just yet. All good things take time. It may be somewhat easier to try and find a Maytag or Frigidaire lawn ornament. These also are perfectly acceptable. So move on in and welcome to the trailer trash community!
Vampires Dear Uncle Ralph:
Dear Mikey, Heck yes! I’ve seen ‘em. I’ve had a beer or 13 with a few of them. (They can open the cans in a really cool way.) The trailer trash and red neck communities seem to have more than their share of Vampires. I think the reason for this is that since they are immortal, eventually they all gravitate to the better lifestyles. Who would want to live forever as a suburbanite office worker? You shouldn’t be too worried about it, though. Vampires also love beer. Especially red beer. So be sure to have plenty on hand at all times.
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Copyright September 2008 all rights reserved
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