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The "Dear Abby" For Trailer Trash A bit of humor for the way we live. |
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Your Trailer Trash Friends Need Help. Tell A Friend about this site! |
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Uncle Ralph Plays Games
Dear Readers,
In this game you are a Trailer Park Manager and the goal is to get people to move into your trailer park. All kinds of fun stuff happens, even visits by aliens! You can create “Car Henge” (which is like Stone Henge but with cars) which seems to invite the aliens to come. Pink Flamingo, old tires and tons of rolled up garden hoses make the game seem almost like home.
Since my nephews introduced it to me two days ago I even wake up thinking about it.
So at any rate, this is a game I have to recommend. If you love trailer trash, and who doesn’t, you’ll love this game. If you’re interested in buying the game, you can find it here at this Amazon link: Trailer Park Tycoon
P.S. It's great when they can turn your life into a game!
Dear Uncle Ralf.
U sur did hep us with the duck tape stuff. I chiped a toof in the front of my mouth, I just dried that suker off and wraped it wiff duck tape. Now I gots a fancy smiles like Mike Tyson!.
My real questun is I have lived in a trailer for yeers, but my sister Gay just moved into one with her hesband TJ, 23 cats a four dogs! No Kiddin! Can U give her any tips on gettin in wiff the rest of the trailer park, and how to deckerate her home to fit in?
Smilen In Norf Carolina
Dear Smilen,
I’m glad to hear that the “Duck Tape” worked well for you. That was a great solution to your “toof” problem.
As for your real question on how to help your sister, I would suggest that first off she gets a really big satellite dish and mounts it to the top of her trailer. Mind you, it doesn’t have to work, it just has to look good. Her new neighbors will be impressed and also it will let any aliens that happen to be visiting that this is somewhere they may want to stop.
Next, get a couple of old tires and fill them with dirt. Put one on each side of your sidewalk, if you have one, leading up to your front door. They’ll make nice flower planters.
Finally: Throw a Buckhorn party! It’s considered rude to move into a new trailer park and not bring out the Buckhorn beer for the neighborhood within a month of moving in. Your sister will get to know her neighbors and they’ll know that she is really one of them. The added benefits of getting to know your new neighbors is you will be able to find out if any of them happen to be Oriental. That way she’ll know if she has to keep a close eye on her cats or not.
Dear uncle Ralph
Dear Whiz,
You should never stand more than an arms length from the vehicle no matter how far off the road you are. You may need something to grab onto before you fall down.
As for direction, the wind should facing away from the wind. Or in other words the wind should be blowing on your back. That way, your clothes wont smell so bad and you can wear them another week.
If the is no wind, then you should face Washington DC. This has become a form of trailer trash protest against taxing our trailers.
Dear Uncle Ralph,
Ryan
Dear Ryan,
This is true: The last words of my cousin Mike really was “Hey Y’all, watch this!”
He had created a “Super Potato Launcher” that had a combustion chamber made out of an old steel drum and filled it with gasoline.
We buried several pieces of him in our local cemetery.
How much lighter fluid depends on the size of your combustion chamber. I prefer to use a 6 inch tube about 18 inches long for the combustion chamber and then a 2 inch barrel about 5 feet long. This has always worked well for me. For this size chamber I suggest two good squirts.
Be sure to only use lighter fluid. However if you insist on using something like gasoline or even gun powder, be sure to hold the potato gun tight. I suggest that you sit on the ground and hold the combustion chamber between your legs when you light it. And by the way, don’t plan on having any more children.
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What's On This Week On the Jerry Springer Show Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Note: Jerry Springer has not endorsed Uncle Ralph and is not affiliated in any way. But he should be.
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Copyright September 2008 all rights reserved
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