May-12, 2002

Dear ,

My dog came up missing.  I'm sure my neighbor took him but I can't prove it.  What can I do?

Houndless.

Dear Houndless,

Did you ask your neighbor for your dang dog back?   Sheeze!  If someone steals your dog, that is a real fight'in offence.  Gather your kin and march right over there and have a talk'in.  You don't have to prove noth'in. 

However, the dog-breath most likely ate it.  If that is the case you'll never get the dang dog back.  At that point it don't do no good to start fight'in so you may as well relax.

Look on the bright side:  Some good traditions can come from it.

Once my neighbor invited me and the ol' lady over for dinner.  I found out latter, after about 8 beers, that the stew was made with my best dog.  (Best dog I ever ate.)  We're still friends, but every year about the same time, we have them over for dinner & beer.  And every year, for some reason their dog runs off.  Go figure.

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