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The "Dear Abby" For Trailer Trash A bit of humor for the way we live. |
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Your Trailer Trash Friends Need Help. Tell A Friend about this site! |
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Uncle Ralph – The TV Show?
Dear Uncle Ralph,
I just heard the most distressing news. This is Frasier's last season on TV. Then I hit on a brite idear. Why not have You take his place. I know we have Dr. Phil, but he just doesn't relate (quite literally) to us trailer trash folks. You could have a program about all the poor trailer trash people you have helped over the past couple years since you have been spreading your wisdom.
Who can I contact at them there television stations to let them know that we want a Uncle Ralph program. I think all us trailer trash people should start a petition to make it so. Besides, maybe then some pretty young thing will see Boceefus ( my most handsome son, I don't have any daughters or he'd be married by now) and want to marry him. I think you're the greatest, Uncle Ralph.
Dear Bertha,
Now there’s an interesting thought. Uncle Ralph the T.V. show. I could take the place of Frasier and give out some real advice. Wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if we could teach the disadvantaged suburbanites how to live a better life?
So I took the time to find an email address so that everyone can write to NBC and suggest that Uncle Ralph take the place of Frasier. It is Frasier@nbc.com.
Just send them a quick note to suggest that they bring Uncle Ralph on to help those poor suckers that used to listen to his show. Then we can all have some real fun!
So here is the suggestion on what to say.
Dear people at the Frasier Show, Since this is the last season for Frasier, I’d like to suggest that you replace him with Uncle Ralph. He has been the “Dear Abby” of the Trailer Trash community for almost two years and I think you should use him on the Frasier radio show to REALLY help people. You can see his website at www.AskUncleRalph.com
Sincerely (your name here)
This could be a lot of fun!
More On Redneck Murders
Dear Uncle Ralph,
I read that joke about the Redneck Murders. Does the phrase, "He needed killin" hold up in a court of law in your trailer park? The local sheriff says that my friend (we'll call him James)can't use that line of defense. Do you think Jeff Foxworthy would be his lawyer. I'm willin to buy a case of the good beer to pay him.
Homer
I NEVER advocate violence. So I have to agree with the Sheriff that James can’t use that line of defense. Try a better defense. Something like “He was so stupid, he jumped in front of my gun just as I was pulling the trigger!” or “He was so ugly I thought he was a wild animal until the taxidermist called me.” This line of defense will be much more believable in any trailer park.
As for Foxworthy, I’m not sure. I haven’t spoken to him for some time. He does have a place on his website to post comments, though, so you can ask him there. It is: http://www.jefffoxworthy.com/chattin/index.html . Please be sure to tell him “Howdy” for Uncle Ralph.
Dear uncle Ralph
When I [Word deleted by
Editor] I loose my hair. Do you think it's
because I do it too often or because I'm getting too old. Thanks Uncle Ralph
You're words of wisdom will be appreciated. Farley
Dear Farley,
Now there’s something that’s a waste of time. Even for Trailer Trash. Heck, you live in a Trailer Park for gosh sakes! There are all kinds of choices you can make in a Trailer Park where you wont have to loose your hair or go blind. Go out and find yourself a nice hefty Trailer Trash chick. Just be sure to brace your trailer for the extra weight and Richter Scale movements and you can save your hair and your eye site.
If that doesn’t work for you, then it’s better to be bald, blind and happy than blue.
Dear Uncle Ralph,
Dear I Dunno,
We’re all one big happy family. Some of us just happen to be fortunate enough to live in trailers.
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What's On This Week On the Jerry Springer Show Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Note: Jerry Springer has not endorsed Uncle Ralph and is not affiliated in any way. But he should be.
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Copyright September 2008 all rights reserved
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