Random thoughts June 23, 2002

 Another day of near bliss.  The old lady went garage sale’in again.  Now I’ve got me a nearly unused stationary bicycle.   She tell’s me we’re both gonna get in shape.  She rode it almost 2 minutes  while drinking a Buckhorn beer.  Turns out she’d rather focus on the Buckhorn.

 My idiot neighbor was at it again.  I have a habit of peeking out my back window just before I crawl into bed.   You never know when you might see something interesting.   Well last night I saw something interesting.   I peek out and there, not 10 feet from by back window is my idiot neighbor standing in nothing but socks.   I quick put my jeans back on and run outside.  Well, he was drunk out of his mind and looking for his pants.  He was sure he left them here somewhere.    I start yelling some colorful expressions telling him to go back to his own trailer and go to bed.  ( I had to yell because everyone knows that when your drunk you cant hear too good.)    It didn’t take much yelling until the cops showed up.  Two women cops.   It was all they could do to keep from laughing but they walked him back to his own trailer and presented him to his old lady.  She yelled at the cops!  Told them he wasn’t coming back in until he found his new pants.  Well today he got a nice orange jumpsuit until he can explain to the judge on Monday where he left his pants. 

 But I’ve said this before and it bears repeating.   The times when the trailer gets cleaned the best are when either the cops or the preacher pull up the driveway.  By the time I got back in my own trailer, my darling old lady had the entire place cleaned up.  I thought I had walked into the wrong trailer.

 Thought I might go get me some fireworks for the 4^th of July.   Last year Cusin Stump got some nice M80’s.  The year before that we just called him Cousin Robert.   Any how, I’m a much safer man when I blow things up. 

 The nephews are all out of school now.  They keep the web site going so I can dish out advice to the folks that need it.   I think Brad got a tattoo of his favorite teacher.  It’s either that or a skull and crossbones.  I can’t tell.   They keep dragging me down to the public library so I can use the computers to write the advice column.  I think the librarian thinks that I have the hots for her.  She keeps telling me to whisper.  I keep telling her I’m married.  She was kind of old for me anyhow.  She must be at least 40.

 I thought about trying to get the pickup truck running again.   But that would mean I’d have to go outside again.  It’s too hot now for that.  I’ll just drink another Buckhorn and watch the old lady ignore the bike.

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