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The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of
a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
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People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the
two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch
'em.
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When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the
offering," five guys and two women stand up. |
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Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church
holiday. |
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A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4 wheel-drive
truck because... "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get
out of" (Love it!) |
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The choir is known as the "OK Chorale". |
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In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names
in the church directory. |
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People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too
heavy. |
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The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub. |
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The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo
from) Billy Bob's Barbecue. |
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The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy. |
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Instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call. |
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The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks. |
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The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink". |
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"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.
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The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya
hear". |
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God Bless and don't fergit ta say yer prayers! |
